trying to fake it

so heres the deal. i got myself a jacked up grill, and when i was a child being raised by wolves, i got hella shit talked about that. so i never really learned how to smile when some dumbass said cheese, instead i just closed my mouth. my stuff is still cricked but i dont really care anymore, yet i still cant seem to smile for photos. unless im actually laughing or smiling. but i cant seem to fake it. so now this is seriously messing me up... i also happen to be very animated and make some extremely strange faces when i am talking. now i dont usually see myself talking since im not in the habit of talking to myself when i look in the mirror, so all this time i thought i was ok, turns out i been makin some real odd faces, and now its too late to even break that habit..so all snapshots of me tend to be really really bad...and im talking about twisted face eyes rolled up some real odd expressions...or theres the anusmouth, the unconscious hide the teeth gesture that i go for instinctively when the flash hits...then theres deer in headlights, i think to myself, well ra you dont wanna look hella fucked up this time, so just dont move a muscle. this is what happens, i smooth out my face, end up looking like i just got hypnotized, or caught in some bright lights, my eyes get really wide and my no expression is good expression backfires bigtime. and then there are the shots where i look pissed off, cause im not smiling...and you pretty much got the repetoire: deer, excorcist, pissed. so i have been trying to learn how to smile on command, and it hasnt been working. it tends to look like rigor mortis is setting in, i got a big mouth, and stretched in a fake grin that looks more like a grimace, its not a pretty sight. j told me i need to go to my happy place, or i need to think of something that makes me smile, like how when my contacts get dry i think about something sad, like brother bear. man that shit was seriously sad.