brasil unplugged

so here is the version i didnt tell you but need to tell somebody now or i will really go nuts...
so like the first week and a half in brazil im waiting around for some late as hell financial aid and basically trying not to spend any cash, my girl is spending like half the day in bed with her boy and i am rereading for like the third time a book of short stories and kickin it with two of my favorites of the friends of pololo of ash but feeling a little isolated cause she my friend what speaks my language and i feel like she aint kickin it with me plus everyone gets really drunk every fuckin night which is great once in a while but fuckin me da lata every night plus fast chilean spanish shit talkin i mostly just sit there not getting much...
i developed a schedule where i got up really early and ate at the pousada which was fuckin good, fresh fruit and bread and honey and juice, usually with lil or big ridic my faves, both of whom speak quite a bit of english...usually id chatter away in spanish until lil ridic tells me good humoredly that he is still asleep and are all gringas as talkative as me and he kinda liked me better when i couldnt really say that much...

then id shower and hit the pool and usually end up talking to some of the kids hanging out there argentinians or chileans mostly...

wed all usually cook dinner together and that was cool and then the drinking would begin and id go sit in a hammock and read...

so there was this kinda underlying im lonely drama but i kept saying to myself rach yer next to a pool in brasil what problems could you possibly have...
it came to a little drama between my girl and me when everyone decided to head somewhere else instead of meeting up with georgie and his crew immediately, i went with them but was starting to feel pretty annoyed surrounded by fuckin messy dudes who eat everything in sight even if it has a little note saying porfa no me comes la ra me quiere para desayuno...and i wanted to see what the hell was up with the guy which is this complicated as fuck we broke up but it didnt take but i hadnt been able to see him cause i was travelling and whatev but he says me quiere mucho but i dont know i mean there are some goddam good reasons i broke up with him whatev..

so finally i get a little fed up i get pissy with ash cause im just feeling very left alone and i decide to hook up with the georgy crew cause big and little ridic are going home to chile and this sitch would be impossible without them..

whatev it gets a little dramalike and then we talk and then everythings fine and then i go to meet jorge.
and at first things are going really well, i have more language skills so i can communicate about some of the things that i used to just get pissed off about and i can set clear boundaries and whatev...but it gets complicated fast, first of all by the fact that i went on birth control just prior to meeting up with him cause i just didnt want to take chances and didnt know what was going to happen, so i am feeling crazy and weepy and really not myself, second he is all up in a boy crew too so like i put on tegan and sarah and they are all ay que mamona and change it to heavy metal..and its like at first it looks like things might work, were having fun and when i have a problem homeboy is listening and trying to deal with me...but pretty quickly this becomes something more like jesus are you crying again god you have another issue if you dont like it when someone tells you to shut up why dont you just say so...

cause hes got this obnoxious friend who is all goergy did you see that ass right in front of me and when im like how you gonna do that hes like hes in brasil he has every right and im like ok dude and then hes like im gonna snatch food out yer hand eat anything you leave in the cupboards and bum cigarrettes off you constantly plus talk about every chick who walks by in the most obnoxious way possible (that being the hidden aggression underlying anger with women bullshit instead of actual love and adoration for the female) plus hes gonna constantly psuedo jokingly insist that i cook clean fetch etc, which the other friend does too, but in an actual joking manner and it doesnt bother me its more like my brother and i just tell him to suck my left nut and he laughs..

k. so the more time goes by and the more im getting pissed off by little shit like homeboy putting on loud music first thing in the morning or spending tons and tons of time talking to his friends but hardly talking to me and hes reacting to my reacting by basically ignoring me all of which culminates last night when we ended up in the house of some friends camped out in the living room partying, and i just couldnt kick it, i mean im exhausted, we rode four buses and waited around for like two hours for the friends to meet up with us...so the house is cool and the people are super nice and everything but they are all friends already and whatev they wanna party like insane chilenos and i try to kick it, i get through the drinkin game or whatev, but then jorge isnt really talking to me and then he moves across the room and i tell myself to let it go but it bothers the fuck out of me plus we are sleeping basically in this same room which means no sleep for me as by the time i am starting to put on jammies the chileans are literally standing on the table pounding thier hands on the cieling...so i tell homeboy im going to bed and hes like ok, and then im like alright this sucks and hes like do you want us to stop partying and im like im not gonna say that this isnt my house and so hes like ok go to bed then and im like ok but i dont know how i can possibly sleep through all this noise and hes like what do you want me to do so i go off and tell him hes being a jackass and im tired of begging him to talk to me and waiting around for attention from him and hes like fucking thickskulled dumbass why dont you talk to some of the others and im like whatev and i go to bed knowing this was a huge mistake and curl up crying with sal only to wake up i dont know how much later when the door next to me is opened, im awake so i decide to go for a walk and as i leave he catches up and is like what are you doing...well i thought it was obvious, im pissed that i got woken up and im trying to walk for a second, he starts telling me thats crazy ill get lost whatev so im like come with me just for five minutes and hes like i dont want to i want to party with my friends and im like yeah i get that alright im out and hes like what are you doing you cant walk in the middle of the night blah and im like ok but just for a minute come with and hes like no i want to party and i thought you were sleeping and im like no i was crying with my bear and hes like oh jesus not again im so sick of you crying and im like fuck off then and hes like whatev...yeah so its ugly but in the morning we talk and things are relatively ok in that hes agreed to help me try and change my ticket home...but then he keeps doing that thing all day where hes got plenty to say to everyone but me and im like im in a fucking foriegn country where i dont speak the language i just went through yet another fucking stupid breakup and yer gonna fuckin ignore me and when i find out i cant change my ticket to anything sooner than the 24th im like fuck...

this is just like when carrie is stuck with that stupid fuckin russion in paris....
so now im a buscar anyplace where they got youth hostels or something cause i just cant fuckin take this no sleeping stupid friend housefull of strangers and homeboy ignoring my ass any more...

yeah thats right.

my ass is lonely and a little heartbroken in fuckin brasil ive been on the go since january and i just wanna go home, i mean my house in santiago...

and thats all for now folks...stay tuned