homecoming

so my last day in chile flew by with all the little errands i needed to run dropping off programas at school and such...

so that i had only begun packing when people began showing up for a little informal final despedida. they laughed at me and called me a slacker, but i was getting a little panicky about how really was i going to fit everything in.

i had decided not to try and pay 100bucks to bring an extra bag, for the compelling reason that i didnt have a hunnerd. thus i had decided to bring home the same number of bags that i brought to begin with and expand the definition of purse to mean i would have a fuckload of shit as my carry on. i had been getting rid of books and clothes and school stuff for a few weeks and mentally packing for days.

well let me just tell you mental packing is not packing. i was starting to get panicky and impatient with demands for ice and ashtrays and the well intentioned queries of my guests of how really was i planning to fit all that shit in those bags...

then rhea and leonna showed, calling me the worlds worst procrastinator. and i was but i had literally finished my last paper the evening before...so whatev the party starts moving into the living and leonnna is quietly counseling me (thanks sweetie you saved my sanity) that i probably need a pile of things that might just stay in chile...i agree

out goes vargas llosa and the camo pants i stole from j(sorry hon) the really really stained matt gonzalez t i wore on my volunteer work detail along with a couple pairs of pants i hadnt been wearing for a while and my favorite camo cutoffs which rhea offered to haul to cali.

i began smashing stuff into my bags in the space that remained after books and boots and jackets and shoes had gone in and promptly broke a nail...i was actually packed by about 1 in the morning and went to join the party...

i didnt drink much, just talked to people...hung out..got tired...
left for the airport at about 4 in the morning feeling exhausted and a bit sad to be going and unbelieving that someday soon i would be home.

saying goodbye to ash and nick i just started to cry and i think it startled them but i was just overwhelmed by the notion that my evil twin would now be so far instead of right next to my room...

i got into immigration tired and sad and still crying and noticed id broken another nail. so i started to gnaw off the others in what may have been some sort of stripping down in preparation for return.

i finally got on a plane. my flight lasted forever. it went from santiago to lima, lima to bogata, bogata to san jose costa rica, and from there to san salvador then to sfo and i changed planes each stop..that would be 4times for those counting...

i made a few little friends on my flights though, being loaded down with both sal and this fat little dinosaurio that leo gave me little kids on a few of my flights were like what up yo. or the equivalent in little kid spanish. all the food served on all the flights was the same deal of you can buy a ham and cheese or we will give you chips so i ate a shit ton of chips and juice and the crackers and granola bars i had with me

...from 6am in santiago to nearly 6pm in san salvador...

where im not certain the plane was not held aloft by the ancient woman praying beside me...i slept knowing wed arrive around 1 in the morning and i woke suddenly and looked out my window to see a moon nearly full and bright bright bright and the little twinkling lights of california so near i cried and held sal up to see and said were home buddy thats cali (thinking hey the pilot could just drop me off here)

i was pretty impatient all through the approach and landing and waiting and immigration where i found i said gracias instead of thank you todavia...collected my bags on a smartecarte and walked out into the moment that had in my mind been imaged just as a white light of i dont know what happens next...

i had been thinking the whole set of flights what will it be like? i kept worrying my gnawed nails and thinking why did i cut my hair and then replying rach these are your friends they love you anyway it doesnt matter.

i literally screamed and abandoned my cart when i heard there she is and caught a glimpse of cheets vic kermel and j, i ran to them and we hugged and cried until somebody said hey man where yo shit at? j was all glowing goldy tawny wearing grandaddys jacket and my girls exactly the same and kermel sippin on a fuckin corona in the airport and we left in a flurry and a rush to look for food i having forgot to tell em bring a burrito to the airport and on the crazy fancy huge parking lot mini metro thing cheets slipped a super sleek flip phone into my pocket and i was like what? is this mine?

and we finally piled into two cars and headed for breakfast, out into the brilliant white light of i cant even imagine what happens next but for the moment all i could think was im home.