cuttin back on the carbs

so i swore to myself that i was going to study my ass off, get to my first class, do all my reading for spanish, look up words write sentences ect. and i did. then i skipped spanish cause it was just presentations on the boring reading i just did to come home cause i was so frickin tired...
you win some you lose....
whatcha gonna do.
anyway at some point in the caffienated haze as i was trying to come up with a sentence using vertiginosamente. (yeah you try that sometime.) i realized that i need to stay away from the white butter baked in fresh daily so good so cheap bread...i gotta switch, that and the crackers...im a have to find me some brown bread and some brown crackers cause im startin to get a little panza(belly) here and now i know why they call it that, its made entirely of bread...

(this here sentence hangs vertiginously from the page...)

see the thing is i was just following my instincts, i was like yo chile whatup whatchoo got to eat and it was like hella bland ass food, lotta meat, really fuckin good bread...amazingly delish ice cream...some rather strange salads..rice..
i was like yo whatup throw me some of that bread...

not any more, ima eat more veggies, i know i say this all the time even at home but there j sometimes came home and cooked me actual food or made salad, cause for some unknown reason toast and tea are about the limits of what im willing to do in the cooking dept and anything more seems like a lot of prep for not much payoff..

ok so there was that. then i left school skipping my spanish class...i mean after that sentence, what did they have to teach my ass?

so the deal i made with myself is that cutting down on carbs and studying all day and taking a nap and making it to my class tom morning equals i get to go to Rheas party tonight and maybe out dancing after...

and those fancy new pants that just wanna dance and fit like a second skin? (albeit a bright white pink red marroon and black circles of varying sizes loud as fuck ridiculous second skin)they still aint gone dancin...and...you know how you can like have dance chemistry with somebody, well this guy who was out with us last week, we had us some of that i think, so i hope he will be there again...my pants want to meet him...i cant remember his name, it had a few ls in it.. i just called him the little t-shirty guy in my head, which he was...but in a good way...with the kind of rumpled hair skinny boy tight T...i mean bigger than me of course...but anyway...

that dance business is good for me cause i cant really as much as i might like to have casual sex, but i can have casual dance...then again, thats pretty intimate too, i mean you end up really close and sweaty...when its good anyway..not like some nasty dude and you all man back up off of my shit already...anyway so it was the good kind with this guy who i cant remember his name and i didnt find out how old he is which i should do...hell i should actually card people before i agree to dance with them...

i mean this is not usually a problem, i am not generally attracted to people younger than me unless you count like 15yr old girls, and everybody attracted to them...which i learned today is a great thing about skipping yer afternoon class is that you get to walk home through fuckin throngs of short pleated skirt wearing plus a tie, god the tie schoolgirls...nearly got ran off the sidewalk and it was really ok by me...oh but my point is that aside from that im not generally attracted to people younger than me...only the thing is that in my program, pretty much everyone is...and my school..and they hella cram some school together here, so you get through it faster...i dunno at home i was older than some of the people at my school but generally not much older than the people in the classes for my major...dunno...and they was plenty of fools like me all up on the ten year (as opposed to tenure) track to graduation...so the point is that lots of people here that i generally meet are younger than me...maybe i need to just get involved in some outside activities...who knows...

and its not like im ashamed to be 28. i think its great actually, cause at 21 i was a fuckin mess and now im so much smarter and thats really fun too...but it certainly complicates things..
...speaking of which i have officially classified the kid, nacho i mean...as a carb...tastes great not so filling...just kidding. rather, something i dont really need an excess of in my diet right now...kinda chillin on that a bit...which is always necesary its just that it sucks cause hes my friend, which would still be run of the mill if it wasnt the case that most of my other friends are in another country...but whatevs. im hoping i can just get a little space and all of this crap will chill...

got a letter from j today on purple paper and as usual he was so honest and brave and beautiful and real and in touch with how he feels and willing to say it..i dunno..it was just, something..those of you who know j know already but seriously he is the sweetest most amazing beautiful being i have met in the form of man in the whole fuckin world...god i love that man...i better go before the pendulum swings again.