well denial is a beautiful thing

theres like this thing where yer all ok wow that sure sucked
whooo
well im glad thats over
hooooooooobbooy
and then you realize that you are a jackass who has barely gotten through the FIRST PHASE OF GRIEF (drumroll puleeese)
DENIAL
ah sweet bliss of being able to think things like, getting dumped twice in one weekend is an amusing anecdote, a funny story if you think about it...
...well i for one am no longer fuckin amused and i would like to just let it be known...
i am also full of shit cause i keep trying to play like getting rejected by the kid doesnt hurt and it does or how since im so fuckin far away it can just not even kill me at all that i am now a ra minus one j
and not having this being in existence who already knows exactly how fucked up i am and loves me anyway and no matter what and is just there that is j loving me and how that feels like a safety net or a belay line like i can just jump cause he my mothafuckin parachute from no matter where no matter what...
well not having that literally sucks ass
no that doesnt even begin to say it, not having that sucks bulging bright red baboon ass..
and its raining again and im pmsing my roomate woke my ass up to bum a smoke cause i cant lock my door and sposed to meet you know who for coffee today cause both of us couldnt get out last night but i feel like a wreck like i cant deal with acting as if i were a human being as opposed to a walking festering open sore...
sorry for the grotesque imagery but is there anyone else out there who wants to fuckin reject me????
i mean we got mofuckin door prizes going out now, you can get a fluffy little stuffed puppy or a keychain or something or a t shirt that says "i dumped ra and all i got was this lousy t shirt"...