ESTROGEN!!!!!

so im having fun on the new birth control...

its a ring, only it doesnt go on yr finger kids...
and it took a little while for all of my happy flooded with hoooormones syptoms to kick in but im happy to report they are now in full force...

i am irritated, angry, enraged, horny, irritated, dry and itchy(once again not my finger), bloated or crying...all the fuckin time..

took me a while to catchai, at first i just thought the world was particularly moving...little animals, people on the bus...i just thought i was somehow catching sight of particularly poignant moments when in reality i was just slowly filling up with estrogen and slowly slopping over my own edges..

it was when i brought some aptos kids to see "akila and the bee" and cried several times (can we get popcorn now, shhhh, she looooves her dead dad! popcorn, cant we get some more popcorn were dying!!! silence you irreverant twerps!!! do you not see this beautifully supportive community!!!)
well anyway you get the picture..

one night while i was sleeping j started giggling in his sleep and wouldnt shutup when i said shh and started to tell me why his dream was so funny but it didnt sound funny at all to me and i kept telling him to be quiet and he wouldnt and i got so mad i bit him, on the upper thigh...he wasnt really happy about that...

then theres the absurd bloating where if im not angry, irritated or crying i probably will be soon because of being such a big fat whale of a woman whose upper half gloops down over her lower half.....ive taken to wearing tights under my pants cause i just need some kinda control of the apparently endless bloating of my middle..

i mean i always had a temper but lately its oughtta control... today fer instance i was walkin and i smelled something funny like burning bbq maybe and it seriously annoyed the shit oughtta me, as did the very walk itself as i couldnt believe it took so fuckin long to get to a bus stop from js new place even though i was talking on the phone with cheets the whole time but my phone was annoying the shit out of me too, the volume is all wierd like too loud or too quiet and never just right...i actually call people just to adjust the volume sometimes...not you cheets my brother i mean.....

anyway so j wanted to go out tonight but i felt like lazing about all fat and irritated in my jammies so thats exactly what im gonna do...which is probably best since he has begun to laugh at me when i cry and say things like whats wrong now your not fat again are you? which isnt terribly helpful but then nothing really is...i just hope it all settles down soon, i cant take much more of the drama...