we put the fun back in funeral

i meant to tell yall about last weekend. a good friend of mine had been going through some tough times with her grams in the hospital with caner. we all knew she didnt have much time so last week k and i werent surprised to see s no longer at her post as queen of jewish studies..

we checked email and found a notice of gram departure and made plans to go to the wake, i was to bring nitrous while k would tote a bottle of vodka..

the wake was scheduled for thursday and on the day in question we had all planned accordingly only to be told that due to double booking at duggans the wake would now be friday, and the funeral would be on saturday. k cursed goddamit i have to work and i said fuck i have tickets to a show...we just wanted to go to the wake, but no cigar...quickly a new plan was hatched in which i would accompanied by j, hit the funeral saturday morning.

so saturday night we headed out to dresden dolls which the man of cheets was working and thus hooked our asses up with a table all reserved and plenty of free booze...it was awesome! there we were perched at our little table above the mob jostling for position on the floor. it was a great show and we were all righteously trashed by the end when we headed for cheets to drink and suck down some hippy crack, j and i having decided it would be inapropriate to bring it to the funeral...

so we basically got pretty fucked up and i dont even remember climbing the hill between cheetah and js den but somehow we did only we overslept so that when we woke groggy and hungover it was already getting on toward time to go, i leapt out of bed yelling funeral we gotta go and found my only dress was in js car still prepared for the earlier plan to hit the wake , j ran to get it while i ran the shower and we managed to leave the house in record time.

we raced along empty sat morning streets to duggans in colma, where i realized i couldnt remember grams name, i picked the one that sounded familiar and asked after s, the attendants were unsure until i said shes the grandaughter and really tall and then they were like yes right through here, well these hungover coffeeless fools arrived truly in the nick of time, they began just as we slid into our seats...

and man was it sad. just knowing how close s and grams were was enough to get me worked up and then they start with all the preachifying and whatnot...man funerals are fucking sad and i know thats the point but man!!! they are so fucking sad!!!
so at the end we were supposed to pass the body and i was like j i cant ive never seen anybody dead (i think i went to a funeral when i was real small but i hardly remember and i never got to go to my own beloved grams funeral) so j said its important, come on ill hold yer hand...

and that shit was fucking intense, she was such a beautitul woman and i know thats a wacky thing to be moved by but it made me think about old folks and how amazing they are like they know so much and dont take any guff so anyway im bawling by the time we get the hell oughtta there and i dont even know if its a brief glance from s with red rimmed eyes or that very fact that i never really went to a funeral or whatever...

so we get into the car and js like yay we get to be in the procession and then where is the procession, i say follow that old lady shes going to the cemetary so we tail this old woman who was at the funeral while she loops around and drops another old lady off at home and probably begins to wonder why we are following her...

then we spot the procession just as j realizes hes nearly out of gas so i suggest we get gas and coffee and reunite at the reception, which we do but then s isnt there and she calls me to say, man you missed the bagpipes not a fucking dry eye in the house.

so then j and i head for a crepe place where i proceed to cry in my eggs for a bit, then i eat them.