bad connection/mistaken identity II

if id only listened more closely to the silences between your words
the spaces in which i heard
only my own breath
if only id never left
but id been leaving since the day we met
the you i address is a shifting thing
sometimes you sometimes him sometimes me
you again
and in the spaces between us you are carried to me like a smell in the wind
i see you in certain mannerisms hear you in parts of speech
and this other you this he this me
lost drifting revuelta girando
siento tan sola y no puedo dejarte
i cant seem to leave far enough to leave you behind
i wanted so badly not to feel trapped but this thing i feel now
i wouldnt call that free
just sad and stupid and scared and turned inside out
and the wanting you that im not allowed to do
turning to a burning rage firing me like clay
dry eyed heaving chest heavy feet kicking up sand
concrete
out of town
city streets
i cant seem to get far enough away
and this other you seperated by an ocean airmailed to me on purple sheets that lie beside my empty bed empty lips empty hands
i miss you so much J
miss waking next to you miss your touch your smell your giggly laugh
being held so tight felt like i couldnt fall
what did i know of how things hold
when you take the supports away