i wanna marry walt whitman

if arundhati roy isnt innerested in having my babies...
havent heard back from her yet.
i got shit tons of homework to do and its a beautiful sunny day so im fins to go read some roland barthe trans from french to spanish in my bathing suit in the back yard...had a whole lotta coffee already and i know what i got to say:

it took some kinda longass time for the folks around to let me know that theres a big difference between telling somebody me gustas, and me caes bien, so literally we got you please me and you fall well with me in terms of i like you...
now my ass been gustaring up a mofuckin storm...
so now they explain to me and important difference between the two statements is that me gustas really implies Like Like, as in i LIKE you vs the second which is like friends..k?

so its like a few days ago that someone was like yeah you dont wanna go around gustaring everybody cause that implies a whole lot more than i like you like as friends....i was like maaaaaaan now you are telling me this????? im saying that there is a very real possibility that i might have stayed the hell out of trouble if i had known this shit earlier..

i can tell you they been times when i was like, hey i like you, you ok by me and folks be like ¿Really? ¡well thats great! (they speak with upside down punctuation here)and i would be all, well its nothing to get too excited about maybe we could kick it sometime and they hearing i like you, you cuuuuute and how you doin? all barone style...boy oh boy does this explain a few things...

cause they plenty of times i used the first one thinkin i was sayin hey i like you you cool...when in fact i was saying i like you but id like it better if you put yer tongue in my mouth.. or something like that

im thinkin im sayin yer great we shd kick it they hearin i wanna unzip yer pants with my teeth...

i cd actually go on all day cause i spent some time remembering each time i said me gustas to some chilean dude and picturing cartoony balloon bubbles labelled "what i thought i was saying" "what homeskippy heard me say"

but im sure im gettin cut some second language stupid gringa slack up in this joint with folks plenty clear on it as how most of the time i got little clue what the hell anybody is talkin about..

speaking of which i have this daydream abt going back to my old school good ole sf state and how all the classes will just be straight conducted in english, a language i already speak...its gonna be soooo easy...i wont even have to attend class, i can just walk past the building where classes are held and achieve the level of understanding that here i do after concentrating all day in class...

and i can have these ecstatic obnoxious convos with the prof/ora como así..so that paper i can write it in english (A LANGUAGE I ALREADY SPEAK!) and they will be all...ummm yeah, that was the idea...and i will be all HOT DAMN

i wont have to even read probably i can just look at the covers of the books or leave them lying around my room and achieve some level of understanding similar to what i got from the last book i read in spanish...

where i was like ok thank god somebody told me right away that la manuela is actually a man, so at least im clear on who the tranny prostitute is...otherwise ida been lost as fuck...

but i had to put that aside to read something smaller for the same class this week, los cachorros, which was somehow easier cause its a bunch of schoolboys talkin shit...

speakin of which, did my day friday in the public school and it was sooooo much fun, the kids there are just amazing and sweet and smart as fuck, they all wear uniforms but the class is pretty informal, the teacher was like, just talk to them and if they have questions about homework...

so i spent one class talking slowly in english with a bunch of like 16, 17 yr old kids, they wd ask questions in spanish and id answer in a mix depending on how much they cd understand, one girl had a newborn baby, like right there i mean in the class...
and it was great... they were just crazy bright smart sweet kids...and i love how they talk...they just gotta mad slow it down with the crazy chilean slang for me

the next class couldnt really understand anything i said in english so we just spoke spanish again kinda slow, but ok...i ended up having this long ass convo with this group of boys about hip hop and they promised to bring some music next week...

so it was loads of fun and a great way to practice my spanish and then i went to yog and really fuckin concentrated and really got into it...it was really good.

and as for my drastic decision to approach the drama like a fuckin steamroller and just kick its ass out of my head...i had to do something cause it wasnt ending on its own this is like the third approach to this shit, what sucks is that nacho is
like but i thought you said this was the way to work it out, as if cause im older i somehow know what the hell im doing rather than makin it all up as i go and hopin for the best
...feel bad for the kid a little bit, he was just already fuckin destroyed and tired after a tough week when i pulled the latest bit
...but i dont really feel that bad, cause he the one trippin around all happy and
in love with his gf for the last month while i stumble over my own feet lookin like a fool and feelin like shit.

...so things have been good drama like a constant background noise but im glad i did that ridiculous 5am bullshit which you can read (below the booty pic)it was like having a sliver under yer skin, how you just gotta fuckin dig that shit out even though it hurts cause it isnt gonna get better any other way...